Half Term = Vlog Week!

Hello, my lovelies!

It’s half term (finally!) and I wanted to let you know about a little project I’m going to be doing throughout this next week…

So I’ve had thoughts about doing some YouTube videos for quite some time and, now that I already have a YouTube channel and a week off from college, I figured it is the perfect time to get it started!

I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing or how to make them interesting or funny or useful or not weird or anything like that so I’m just going to let the week go by and see what stuff I can film. During the week, I will be going to my other grandad’s 70^th birthday do, Camden, college (*cries), Jessie J Concert, a Halloween party, and my best friend’s birthday trip around Landannnn. So it seems I have quite a bit to film.

Basically, all of the things I mentioned above are hopefully all going to be merged into one long vlog of my half term for you all to have a look at and hopefully like and enjoy and stuff…yeah.

I wanted to write a blog post on this because, since I am just starting on YouTube, I would absolutely LOVE if anyone wanted to film a video with me doing something similar to Zoe and the rest of the YouTubers. As long as I know who you are and you have a nice idea on a great video, I will be super happy to make a video with you.

Sorry about how short this post is; I’m currently cleaning my room so that I can get money to fund this week’s shenanigans…

 I will leave you now to enjoy your Sunday so wish me luck and I’ll speak to you next Sunday!

I love you guys lots!

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS!

Megan xx

Dealing With Panic Attacks & Being You

Hello, my lovelies!

I’m feeling very nervous about today’s post as I’m sharing something personal with you all. I wanted to put two things together in today’s post; dealing with panic attacks and being yourself. Usually, I don’t take my blog incredibly seriously as I just see it as something that is an entertainment to you guys reading it and to me writing it. However, today, I think I need to address these two things a little more seriously than I normally would address most other subjects so I apologise if you are not entertained, but I’m equally hoping you all take it seriously too.  Anyway, I’ll get to it.

I understand that the majority of you guys reading this are people I know and could be quite close to and so you probably know that I suffer from panic attacks from time to time and, if I’m completely honest, they are not very nice. At all. From what I have researched, I have gathered that panic attacks can range from being quite mild to being very serious. I wouldn’t say mine are serious but they aren’t mild either.  Whenever I have a panic attack, it will start as butterflies in my tummy, then I get a slight headache which becomes progressively worse and feels like there is a large weight in my brain rolling from one side of my head to another. My butterflies then travel through the rest of my body making my heartbeat faster than normal which sometimes makes me feel quite stiff or sometimes makes me feel quite sick. Sometimes, my hands will start to shake if the panic attack is bad. If I were in an exam or an assembly when I first got panic attacks, I would have just sat there feeling nauseous and dizzy and I would bite my lip or pinch my stomach to distract myself from the thought of being sick. If I were at home, I would sit in my room and cry until it went away.

I would get panic attacks for the most stupid reasons. Before I went into exams in school, I would refuse to eat most of my lunch because I felt so nervous and scared of puking it up and so I would go into the exam room hungry. Then, right in the middle of an exam when it was deafeningly quiet, my stomach would rumble and would trigger my panic of someone hearing it. I would also panic when I had to sit still in an assembly. I would panic when having to present something to the class, when in a music lesson my teacher would let us all know that our recordings of us playing instruments and singing were up on the ‘Shared Drive’ for everyone to listen to each other’s work, and when I was (on very rare occasions) getting told off. Another thing I would panic about would have been if I had an argument with someone I love and felt like I hadn’t said all I had needed to say which sounds horrible but it just made me panic! It might sound stupid to some people and I completely understand that reaction but I can honestly from the bottom of my heart tell you that a panic attack is not something I would wish upon anybody.

After the early stages of my panic attacks I knew I couldn’t cope any longer without dealing with it and luckily, I was supported. I went to a place in my school called the ‘LSU’ where I became friends with a girl who suffers with panic attacks like me and we were both supported by a really lovely teacher who I am incredibly grateful to. Instead of sitting in the middle of the hall for assemblies, we would sit at the back near a door for reassurance that we could leave if we needed to, but we didn’t because by doing this, we felt safer. We were given the option to sit near a door in the exam room too which I passed but I wish I didn’t now. We were also given the advice to buy some lavender oil (which if you’re interested, I got it from Boots) which we would either put in our baths the night before an exam or put a few drops on our sleeves as a comfort smell throughout the day. I began to eat a little more in the mornings after having all of this advice given to me and I felt a little better. However, I wish I had been to get this help a little earlier on as my exam results did drop some of my overall grades for GCSE down slightly.

After having all of this help and support, I rarely get panic attacks but I have taken to seeing the head of exams at my new college asking for a separate exam room for any A Level exams I have. My panic attacks have always affected the way I have seen myself and before and during my first stages of panic attacks, I didn’t feel like being ‘me’ was good enough. That’s not to say that I was depressed because I wasn’t. I just thought that my personality, the music I enjoyed, my love of being musical and creative, and everything else about me was wrong and weird. But I can now say that, after all of this support I have had, I’m not afraid of that anymore in the way I used to be. I have had this realisation that, if everyone else around me is being who they want to be and they are happy in their own skin, why can’t I be? Why do I feel that I’m ‘not good enough’ for people who I barely even know? So now, I’m writing a blog, I’m singing in front of the smallest of crowds (which is a huge thing for me), and I’m incredibly happy. I feel like I’ve said this in every blog post but I just can’t believe how natural it feels to state it.

So, the moral of this whole blog post is that if something or someone is getting you down and you feel like you can’t do anything about it, or that nobody cares about you, or that you are not just as important as every other being around you…you CAN do something about it, there IS somebody who cares about you, and YOU…YOU ARE just as important as every single one of the people on this planet. You really are.

So there we are guys. That was a part of my life that I’m so glad to say I’ve shared with you because I know some of you reading this feel the exact same way as I did and may have (hopefully) gained something from this.

For any of you who are experiencing panic attacks, or for any of you that know somebody who is going through them, I found an incredibly useful NHS article online which talks about dealing with panic attacks. Here is the link to that for you: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/coping-with-panic-attacks.aspx

I love you all very much.

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS

Megan xx

Mad Month! (September - October)

Hello, my lovelies!

So much has happened this month that I thought I would share it with you in a ‘life’ blog post. Before I begin, I would just like to say that if you would like to see me blog about a certain make-up brand, song, or aspect of life, I will do my best to cover it for you. Also, if you are interested in reading a post about panic attacks, let me know and I’ll give it my all to write something about things that could help you with coping with them.

I’ve been at college for just over a month now but it honestly feels like it’s been so much longer (in a good way!) I have had the opportunity to make new friends and I am now close to quite a few of them. I enjoy all of my subjects now (even art) and I feel like these next 2 years may not be as difficult as I thought they would be. However, if you do happen to think that taking 4 coursework based subjects means that you don’t have to do much revision or work, you are very wrong and if you say it to my face, I will have a breakdown. The amount of coursework I’ve been carting home is ridiculous and I now not only have a messy room full of clothes, but a messy room full of paint and card and glue. I have now taken to having a mat permanently laid out across my carpet in my room! Although it is a lot of work, I’m so glad that I took those subjects and chose to go to my college; it sounds cliche but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Here are some pictures of me looking like a mess with my friends at college and my messy arty room:

In college, we have a day called ‘Collegiate Day’ when “the whole community comes together to compete against each other in an academic, physical, and creative battle to win the title of 1^st place for their house!” Before it started, I was adamant that nobody would care, just as they wouldn’t have cared in secondary school. I was wrong. At least 10 people in both tasks I went to took the challenges very seriously (my tasks were ‘Make-Overs’ and ‘Cupcake Decorating’ so you can see the level of ‘seriousness’ we had to have there) and they almost ran the whole thing by themselves which I’m not complaining about at all. Without that push, I probably would have eaten the cupcakes before the challenge began. The ending of collegiate day was really something, though. We were all directed into our little canteen (the whole year group – it’s quite a large year group) to get the results. In secondary school, when we had to wait for results, we would be told to stay silent so it was quite a shock for me when I saw people standing on tables, screaming out their house names and practically jumping on top of each other! After all that, however, my house didn’t even bloody win!

I also organised a little meet up with people from my secondary school where we went to the Harvester and had a chat about our colleges. It was great to see them all as some of them I hadn’t seen properly since we left secondary. It’s great knowing that I can make new friends in a new environment and still keep some great ones that I made in 5 years of growing up in secondary school. Here is a picture of me and one of my lovely friends at the harvester:

Before that (and I have briefly mentioned this in a post before) I went to a very good friend of mine’s birthday gathering where I met some of the most lovely people. I met my ‘DMC buddy’ and got to see some people I hadn't seen in a year. Here are some pictures from that too (to the people that were there…sorry if I've embarrassed you!):

One of the people I met at the gathering was lovely enough to invite me and my best friend to her 17^th birthday party last night and it was amazing! I know that it was amazing mainly because my legs are in a fair bit of pain, my shoes (my mum’s shoes actually…oh dear) are very muddy, and my ears are still buzzing. I’m so happy that I saw all of the friends I made at the gathering there and met some new people there too. At times, I felt awkward, but I knew it didn't matter how awkward I felt because I was putting myself out there and making friends on my own for the first time in ages. Here are some photos from last night:

I know some people may read this blog and think “this girl is so strange!” Yes. Yes I am strange. But I am incredibly proud to say that I no longer care and meeting all of these new people and getting invited to all of these different places gives me the confidence to not care and also to realise that people appreciate that sometimes.

Thank you for reading this, guys.

I love you all very much.

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS!

Megan xx

20 Facts About Me!

Hello, my lovelies!

Today, I thought I’d share 20 facts about myself for you all (as I checked my ‘Stats’ and I see some of you guys are from Indonesia and America which is bloody mental!)

So here we go…

1. My full name is Megan Rose Louise Guy. Louise is my confirmation name and I picked it because when I was younger, I pretended my name was Louise as I thought the name was pretty.

2. I play acoustic guitar, I sing, I play some piano (but quite badly) and I have two ukuleles which I STILL haven’t learnt to play yet (I got them both two Christmas’ ago. I WILL LEARN OKAY?!)

3. I love art. Sometimes when I have relaxation days, I’ll sit at home and just draw. It’s really sad I know but, given the opportunity and lots of interesting ideas, I’ll sit and make art for hours. Here's some of my artwork...

4. Before you get to know me, I appear socially awkward. That will never change. However, I used to be just as bad with my friends and those closest to me but now I can talk to them without feeling like I’m annoying them…even if I probably am!

5. Tea is my heaven.

6. I have an older brother and a younger sister and there are huge age gaps between the three of us.

7. I have a wall of photographs. It’s partly to do with the whole ‘I love art and rainbows and unicorns’ thing I’ve got going on but it’s also because I have a terrible memory so I have dedicated my biggest wall to my fondest memories. I will continue to fill it up until it goes all the way around my room.

8. I am 16 and am in college even though I act and am around the same height as a 10 year old.

9. I have an addiction with watching YouTubers. I LOVE Zoe (as you already know), Marcus, Alfie, Charlie, Carrie, Jim, Tayna, Caspar and oh my Jesus SO MANY OTHERS. I am seriously interested in becoming a YouTuber so soon, I may be announcing this but probably not because I’m a wimp.

10. I am really into photography. I just love exploring different aspects of the world and creatively capturing them…did you like my use of words there?

11. I have four cousins who are practically my sisters. I spend so much time with them all and I still haven’t got sick of them after 16 years. Well done, girlies!

12. My best friends honestly mean the world to me. Even though they take the mick out of me at least once every time they see me, I love them so much and I hope they see this post. Hi, guys!

13. I honestly have no idea whether I am ginger or blonde. I am told differently by different people every single day so I am very …VERY confused.  

14. I’m quite a girly girl. I love make up, clothes and hair products although strangely, I’m not a ‘shoe’ girl. I have no idea about shoes so I just end up taking my mum’s.

15. I really have enjoyed writing this blog! I love the feedback I have got from it and hope to continue this and inspire more people through it.

16. I HATE sweets. I love chocolate to the point where it could be the death of me. But sweets, I can’t stand them.

17. I used to suffer from panic attacks through my GCSE stages. It’s not something I’ve written about on here as I thought Zoe did a pretty amazing job of it on her YouTube channel and blog but if you’re interested in me sharing my story or giving tips on how to deal with them, drop a comment or tweet me or email me using the blog email address which is meganroseguyblog@hotmail.co.uk

18. I hate almost every single sport except from swimming and running on a running machine. I’m one of those people who would have always been picked last to join a team in primary or early secondary school because I would just chat to my friends so I didn’t have to get involved.

19. I got my ears pierced only 3 months ago because I was too scared to get them pierced earlier in case I burst into tears of agony and died…

20. In future (hopefully the near future) I would like to take a trip to Australia to visit my amazing brother and his amazing girlfriend and go sightseeing with them, just as we did when they both came to visit us.

So there we go, guys! Those are 20 facts about me for you all. I hope you enjoyed this post just as much as I enjoyed writing it. Again, thanks for all the support. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS!

Megan xxx