I have decided that this blog will be more in the form of diary entries at this little period in my life. This doesn't mean I won't go back to reviewing face powders and pretending I know about fashion (not mocking btw - if anything I'm mocking myself) but for now this is what is keeping me sane.
I'm terrified
Okay bye!
No but seriously. I truly am. I don't know what to make of all this. I go to a college where not everybody knows each other so leaving college isn't really a big loss to me. I've made some incredible friends, however, who oh my goodness I would absolutely love to keep as long as they want to keep me. I have met my boyfriend who makes me so happy and cares about me and I also hope he can still put up with me in his life. I am grateful to the college for putting these people in classes with me.
I'm also grateful that the college provided me with anxiety help which included counselling. I understand that this doesn't benefit everyone and it 100% does not cure everyone and that includes me. But I appreciate this counsellor so much. She has stuck by me for a whole year now and was kind and lovely to me before my anxiety became a huge deal. She is a lovely person and the thought of next Tuesday being my final session with her well and truly frightens me. It not only means less support, but it also means that somebody who has really made an impact on me (she probably doesn't even know it) is someone who I will not be allowed contact with anymore. And for that I'm very sad.
I'm also anxiously excited to explore the world. My first journey without family - a girls holiday to Bulgaria. I'm dreading the plane journeys but I am excited nevertheless. It'll be a fun and unforgettable experience with two of the best friends I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Then comes a job. I don't feel as if uni is the right way for me and so a job is where I'm off to. I'm petrified. As with everything else I'm my life, I'm petrified. I shouldn't be and I don't want to be, but I am. And it's daunting.
That's all from me tonight. Exam tomorrow morning...should be revising but low and behold it's 12 in the morning now so probably not a great idea.
I'll speak to you soon, lovelies.
Goodnight from the UK!
from
Megan xxx
