Down Days

Hello, my lovelies

I know I haven't been on here for a while and I've honestly had some lovely blog posts planned, I have just never gotten round to finishing them because of all the stuff that, quite frankly, makes me feel down. This is a very random spur of the moment post I wanted to share with you all that I've literally only just had to urge to write. I don't know where I'm going with it, but all I know is that I just need to let my emotions run wild.

I have been finding things difficult recently. Not many people are aware but I just am. And it's nobody's fault. I have been snapping at people and being rude unintentionally (not that that makes everything okay but I thought it would be only fair on me to mention), I have felt the need to bitch, I have been tackling anxiety and mainly failing at tackling it and it all seems too much for me.

There has been a time this month where I have had a thought that I am possibly suffering depression. I may sound completely ignorant now but from what I have heard from friends who have depression themselves, some of the ways I have been acting and feeling haven't been to far away from their depression experiences. However, I am not going to go and diagnose myself again like I did with anxiety at first (although I wasn't wrong, was I?) (just to let you know, I have been diagnosed by professionals with anxiety disorder since my last blog post. I forgot to mention!) and I am not just assuming thats what it is. I just like to call the times I feel this way a 'downer' or 'downer days' if the feelings last for a long time. I believe today is one of them.

I don't want anybody reading to feel sympathy or even feel upset. (I would never want to upset you guys. It's just how I'm feeling) I just needed to vent and explain myself.

I'm coming to a point in life where I genuinely am scared. I don't know what's in store - I usually like to know exactly what's coming. I don't know what is happening specifically once I leave college. I don't know how my first girls holiday to Bulgaria will go (been so long I know! I'm going to Bulgaria with my two best friends. Exciting! but scary too) I don't know how the future is looking and it genuinely concerns, frustrates, and worries me which makes the anxiety spiral at times.

I don't know. Have you guys ever felt this way?

Thanks for reading.

I genuinely appreciate it all.

Lots of love
Megan xxx