Half Term = Vlog Week!

Hello, my lovelies!

It’s half term (finally!) and I wanted to let you know about a little project I’m going to be doing throughout this next week…

So I’ve had thoughts about doing some YouTube videos for quite some time and, now that I already have a YouTube channel and a week off from college, I figured it is the perfect time to get it started!

I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing or how to make them interesting or funny or useful or not weird or anything like that so I’m just going to let the week go by and see what stuff I can film. During the week, I will be going to my other grandad’s 70^th birthday do, Camden, college (*cries), Jessie J Concert, a Halloween party, and my best friend’s birthday trip around Landannnn. So it seems I have quite a bit to film.

Basically, all of the things I mentioned above are hopefully all going to be merged into one long vlog of my half term for you all to have a look at and hopefully like and enjoy and stuff…yeah.

I wanted to write a blog post on this because, since I am just starting on YouTube, I would absolutely LOVE if anyone wanted to film a video with me doing something similar to Zoe and the rest of the YouTubers. As long as I know who you are and you have a nice idea on a great video, I will be super happy to make a video with you.

Sorry about how short this post is; I’m currently cleaning my room so that I can get money to fund this week’s shenanigans…

 I will leave you now to enjoy your Sunday so wish me luck and I’ll speak to you next Sunday!

I love you guys lots!

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS!

Megan xx

Dealing With Panic Attacks & Being You

Hello, my lovelies!

I’m feeling very nervous about today’s post as I’m sharing something personal with you all. I wanted to put two things together in today’s post; dealing with panic attacks and being yourself. Usually, I don’t take my blog incredibly seriously as I just see it as something that is an entertainment to you guys reading it and to me writing it. However, today, I think I need to address these two things a little more seriously than I normally would address most other subjects so I apologise if you are not entertained, but I’m equally hoping you all take it seriously too.  Anyway, I’ll get to it.

I understand that the majority of you guys reading this are people I know and could be quite close to and so you probably know that I suffer from panic attacks from time to time and, if I’m completely honest, they are not very nice. At all. From what I have researched, I have gathered that panic attacks can range from being quite mild to being very serious. I wouldn’t say mine are serious but they aren’t mild either.  Whenever I have a panic attack, it will start as butterflies in my tummy, then I get a slight headache which becomes progressively worse and feels like there is a large weight in my brain rolling from one side of my head to another. My butterflies then travel through the rest of my body making my heartbeat faster than normal which sometimes makes me feel quite stiff or sometimes makes me feel quite sick. Sometimes, my hands will start to shake if the panic attack is bad. If I were in an exam or an assembly when I first got panic attacks, I would have just sat there feeling nauseous and dizzy and I would bite my lip or pinch my stomach to distract myself from the thought of being sick. If I were at home, I would sit in my room and cry until it went away.

I would get panic attacks for the most stupid reasons. Before I went into exams in school, I would refuse to eat most of my lunch because I felt so nervous and scared of puking it up and so I would go into the exam room hungry. Then, right in the middle of an exam when it was deafeningly quiet, my stomach would rumble and would trigger my panic of someone hearing it. I would also panic when I had to sit still in an assembly. I would panic when having to present something to the class, when in a music lesson my teacher would let us all know that our recordings of us playing instruments and singing were up on the ‘Shared Drive’ for everyone to listen to each other’s work, and when I was (on very rare occasions) getting told off. Another thing I would panic about would have been if I had an argument with someone I love and felt like I hadn’t said all I had needed to say which sounds horrible but it just made me panic! It might sound stupid to some people and I completely understand that reaction but I can honestly from the bottom of my heart tell you that a panic attack is not something I would wish upon anybody.

After the early stages of my panic attacks I knew I couldn’t cope any longer without dealing with it and luckily, I was supported. I went to a place in my school called the ‘LSU’ where I became friends with a girl who suffers with panic attacks like me and we were both supported by a really lovely teacher who I am incredibly grateful to. Instead of sitting in the middle of the hall for assemblies, we would sit at the back near a door for reassurance that we could leave if we needed to, but we didn’t because by doing this, we felt safer. We were given the option to sit near a door in the exam room too which I passed but I wish I didn’t now. We were also given the advice to buy some lavender oil (which if you’re interested, I got it from Boots) which we would either put in our baths the night before an exam or put a few drops on our sleeves as a comfort smell throughout the day. I began to eat a little more in the mornings after having all of this advice given to me and I felt a little better. However, I wish I had been to get this help a little earlier on as my exam results did drop some of my overall grades for GCSE down slightly.

After having all of this help and support, I rarely get panic attacks but I have taken to seeing the head of exams at my new college asking for a separate exam room for any A Level exams I have. My panic attacks have always affected the way I have seen myself and before and during my first stages of panic attacks, I didn’t feel like being ‘me’ was good enough. That’s not to say that I was depressed because I wasn’t. I just thought that my personality, the music I enjoyed, my love of being musical and creative, and everything else about me was wrong and weird. But I can now say that, after all of this support I have had, I’m not afraid of that anymore in the way I used to be. I have had this realisation that, if everyone else around me is being who they want to be and they are happy in their own skin, why can’t I be? Why do I feel that I’m ‘not good enough’ for people who I barely even know? So now, I’m writing a blog, I’m singing in front of the smallest of crowds (which is a huge thing for me), and I’m incredibly happy. I feel like I’ve said this in every blog post but I just can’t believe how natural it feels to state it.

So, the moral of this whole blog post is that if something or someone is getting you down and you feel like you can’t do anything about it, or that nobody cares about you, or that you are not just as important as every other being around you…you CAN do something about it, there IS somebody who cares about you, and YOU…YOU ARE just as important as every single one of the people on this planet. You really are.

So there we are guys. That was a part of my life that I’m so glad to say I’ve shared with you because I know some of you reading this feel the exact same way as I did and may have (hopefully) gained something from this.

For any of you who are experiencing panic attacks, or for any of you that know somebody who is going through them, I found an incredibly useful NHS article online which talks about dealing with panic attacks. Here is the link to that for you: http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/Pages/coping-with-panic-attacks.aspx

I love you all very much.

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS

Megan xx

Mad Month! (September - October)

Hello, my lovelies!

So much has happened this month that I thought I would share it with you in a ‘life’ blog post. Before I begin, I would just like to say that if you would like to see me blog about a certain make-up brand, song, or aspect of life, I will do my best to cover it for you. Also, if you are interested in reading a post about panic attacks, let me know and I’ll give it my all to write something about things that could help you with coping with them.

I’ve been at college for just over a month now but it honestly feels like it’s been so much longer (in a good way!) I have had the opportunity to make new friends and I am now close to quite a few of them. I enjoy all of my subjects now (even art) and I feel like these next 2 years may not be as difficult as I thought they would be. However, if you do happen to think that taking 4 coursework based subjects means that you don’t have to do much revision or work, you are very wrong and if you say it to my face, I will have a breakdown. The amount of coursework I’ve been carting home is ridiculous and I now not only have a messy room full of clothes, but a messy room full of paint and card and glue. I have now taken to having a mat permanently laid out across my carpet in my room! Although it is a lot of work, I’m so glad that I took those subjects and chose to go to my college; it sounds cliche but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Here are some pictures of me looking like a mess with my friends at college and my messy arty room:

In college, we have a day called ‘Collegiate Day’ when “the whole community comes together to compete against each other in an academic, physical, and creative battle to win the title of 1^st place for their house!” Before it started, I was adamant that nobody would care, just as they wouldn’t have cared in secondary school. I was wrong. At least 10 people in both tasks I went to took the challenges very seriously (my tasks were ‘Make-Overs’ and ‘Cupcake Decorating’ so you can see the level of ‘seriousness’ we had to have there) and they almost ran the whole thing by themselves which I’m not complaining about at all. Without that push, I probably would have eaten the cupcakes before the challenge began. The ending of collegiate day was really something, though. We were all directed into our little canteen (the whole year group – it’s quite a large year group) to get the results. In secondary school, when we had to wait for results, we would be told to stay silent so it was quite a shock for me when I saw people standing on tables, screaming out their house names and practically jumping on top of each other! After all that, however, my house didn’t even bloody win!

I also organised a little meet up with people from my secondary school where we went to the Harvester and had a chat about our colleges. It was great to see them all as some of them I hadn’t seen properly since we left secondary. It’s great knowing that I can make new friends in a new environment and still keep some great ones that I made in 5 years of growing up in secondary school. Here is a picture of me and one of my lovely friends at the harvester:

Before that (and I have briefly mentioned this in a post before) I went to a very good friend of mine’s birthday gathering where I met some of the most lovely people. I met my ‘DMC buddy’ and got to see some people I hadn't seen in a year. Here are some pictures from that too (to the people that were there…sorry if I've embarrassed you!):

One of the people I met at the gathering was lovely enough to invite me and my best friend to her 17^th birthday party last night and it was amazing! I know that it was amazing mainly because my legs are in a fair bit of pain, my shoes (my mum’s shoes actually…oh dear) are very muddy, and my ears are still buzzing. I’m so happy that I saw all of the friends I made at the gathering there and met some new people there too. At times, I felt awkward, but I knew it didn't matter how awkward I felt because I was putting myself out there and making friends on my own for the first time in ages. Here are some photos from last night:

I know some people may read this blog and think “this girl is so strange!” Yes. Yes I am strange. But I am incredibly proud to say that I no longer care and meeting all of these new people and getting invited to all of these different places gives me the confidence to not care and also to realise that people appreciate that sometimes.

Thank you for reading this, guys.

I love you all very much.

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS!

Megan xx

20 Facts About Me!

Hello, my lovelies!

Today, I thought I’d share 20 facts about myself for you all (as I checked my ‘Stats’ and I see some of you guys are from Indonesia and America which is bloody mental!)

So here we go…

1. My full name is Megan Rose Louise Guy. Louise is my confirmation name and I picked it because when I was younger, I pretended my name was Louise as I thought the name was pretty.

2. I play acoustic guitar, I sing, I play some piano (but quite badly) and I have two ukuleles which I STILL haven’t learnt to play yet (I got them both two Christmas’ ago. I WILL LEARN OKAY?!)

3. I love art. Sometimes when I have relaxation days, I’ll sit at home and just draw. It’s really sad I know but, given the opportunity and lots of interesting ideas, I’ll sit and make art for hours. Here's some of my artwork...

4. Before you get to know me, I appear socially awkward. That will never change. However, I used to be just as bad with my friends and those closest to me but now I can talk to them without feeling like I’m annoying them…even if I probably am!

5. Tea is my heaven.

6. I have an older brother and a younger sister and there are huge age gaps between the three of us.

7. I have a wall of photographs. It’s partly to do with the whole ‘I love art and rainbows and unicorns’ thing I’ve got going on but it’s also because I have a terrible memory so I have dedicated my biggest wall to my fondest memories. I will continue to fill it up until it goes all the way around my room.

8. I am 16 and am in college even though I act and am around the same height as a 10 year old.

9. I have an addiction with watching YouTubers. I LOVE Zoe (as you already know), Marcus, Alfie, Charlie, Carrie, Jim, Tayna, Caspar and oh my Jesus SO MANY OTHERS. I am seriously interested in becoming a YouTuber so soon, I may be announcing this but probably not because I’m a wimp.

10. I am really into photography. I just love exploring different aspects of the world and creatively capturing them…did you like my use of words there?

11. I have four cousins who are practically my sisters. I spend so much time with them all and I still haven’t got sick of them after 16 years. Well done, girlies!

12. My best friends honestly mean the world to me. Even though they take the mick out of me at least once every time they see me, I love them so much and I hope they see this post. Hi, guys!

13. I honestly have no idea whether I am ginger or blonde. I am told differently by different people every single day so I am very …VERY confused.  

14. I’m quite a girly girl. I love make up, clothes and hair products although strangely, I’m not a ‘shoe’ girl. I have no idea about shoes so I just end up taking my mum’s.

15. I really have enjoyed writing this blog! I love the feedback I have got from it and hope to continue this and inspire more people through it.

16. I HATE sweets. I love chocolate to the point where it could be the death of me. But sweets, I can’t stand them.

17. I used to suffer from panic attacks through my GCSE stages. It’s not something I’ve written about on here as I thought Zoe did a pretty amazing job of it on her YouTube channel and blog but if you’re interested in me sharing my story or giving tips on how to deal with them, drop a comment or tweet me or email me using the blog email address which is meganroseguyblog@hotmail.co.uk

18. I hate almost every single sport except from swimming and running on a running machine. I’m one of those people who would have always been picked last to join a team in primary or early secondary school because I would just chat to my friends so I didn’t have to get involved.

19. I got my ears pierced only 3 months ago because I was too scared to get them pierced earlier in case I burst into tears of agony and died…

20. In future (hopefully the near future) I would like to take a trip to Australia to visit my amazing brother and his amazing girlfriend and go sightseeing with them, just as we did when they both came to visit us.

So there we go, guys! Those are 20 facts about me for you all. I hope you enjoyed this post just as much as I enjoyed writing it. Again, thanks for all the support. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS!

Megan xxx

'Surprise!' and OOTD

Hello, my lovelies!

So here is my little Sunday post for you after a very depressing spontaneous post on Friday! :’)

Basically, in this post, I’m going to go over my outfit and make up choices from yesterday and then I’ll let you all in on what yesterday actually was (so then you know I didn’t dress all pretty to eat cake and watch Pitch Perfect in my room!)

I’ll start off with my make-up. I went for the winged eyeliner (‘Collection 2000 EXTREME 24 Hour Felt Tip Liner’ in the colour black) look with dark pink lips (‘Bourjois’ lipstick in the colour ’49 Rosé alluré’). The winged eyeliner added to the sleek look I wanted to go along with the dress and the pink lips were to give the overall look a pop of colour. I’ve only just learnt how to do winged eyeliner without blinking and creating a zigzag over my eyelid; I actually did it AND it lasted for quite a long time! This is because I finished off the look with the ‘Urban Decay All Nighter Makeup Setting Spray’. Now this stuff is honestly one of those things that I will never regret paying as much money as I did for. It keeps the makeup in place without hardening up your face or creating streaks from the foundation. Like I’ve said before, I do not promote any brands of makeup or any shops, I am just a 16 year old girl who is currently screeching out Ke$ha songs writing a blog post for you. However, I really do recommend this stuff. It makes you feel pwetty.  

For my outfit, I wore a cream off-the-shoulder dress with beautiful patterning on it. There was netting underneath the bottom of the dress making it flare out. I felt like a fairy for the day! But honestly, the dress is stunning and I would recommend that also. I bought the dress from Topshop a few months ago for £70 (out of my work money savings just to let you all know) but if it happens to be in a sale at the moment, I’m pretty sure you will be able to get at least 20% off of it. I’ll do my best to look into this but, if I find no info for you, try and have a little peek in the shop and see if you can get it. I finished off the look with my prom shoes which I was bought as a birthday present by my mum so I’ll look into where I got those too.

So basically, yesterday, the whole family threw my grandad a ‘surprise’ party for his 70^th birthday (he knew about it so that was a little awks) and it was such a lovely day. Luckily, he was surprised by the things we had up our sleeves for the day such as seeing some old friends of his, a little thank you DVD me and my cousins put together for him and a song we wrote. But it really was lovely. I’ll put a few pictures up for you to see of the day:

 

 

I hope this post was useful and you enjoyed it!

Just to remind you, if you’re interested (and I’m not still suffering from this bloody cold at the end of the week), I’ll post a cover of any song you guys want to YouTube for you all to laugh at and stuff :’)

Love you guys loads!

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS!

Megan xxx

P.S Here are some links to where you may be able to find some of the products I mentioned in this post…

Clinique Website: http://www.clinique.co.uk/

Urban Decay Website: http://www.urbandecay.co.uk/

Collection Website: http://www.collectioncosmetics.co.uk/

Bourjois Website: http://www.bourjois.co.uk/

Topshop Website: http://www.topshop.com/?geoip=home

Thank You

Hello, my lovelies!

Before I begin this post, I just want to say a huge thank you to those of you who have taken the time out of your week to read this and my previous posts! I know it sounds silly but I was incredibly nervous about even posting the blog onto the Internet, let alone actually writing content on it for everyone to see! However, the feedback that I have gained has been amazing so far so thank you so so much everyone! I hope that all of my future posts are just as enjoyable for you.

So these past few weeks have been mad. I have actually made friends with people who I’ve never met before and managed to keep them for a whole week without scaring the crap out of them! If you know me personally (which probably all of you do) you will know that I am not the biggest people person and I am very much a stutterer. I cannot get through one sentence without having to repeat a word or the whole sentence again so I am shocked that I have achieved full, deep and meaningful conversations with these people without barely any stuttering. The strangest part is, these friends are not just from college but they are through parties (which I am still quite new to). One of my party friends that I met only a week ago spoke to me the other night and we got into a ‘DMC’ (Deep and Meaningful Convo …if you didn’t know like I didn’t only a few days ago!) about life. There was one thing she said on this topic which was ‘it will get better’ after I said stuff about my socially awkward self. Since last week, I still hadn’t realised my life was already getting better because I was gaining more confidence by the day.

Speaking of confidence, a few weeks ago (this is where I am about to get into a ‘DMC’ with you guys…bare with me) I didn’t feel ready to take such a big step from secondary school to college. I felt as if I was the only person who felt the way I did and that everyone else found it easy to make friends and to enjoy themselves and to get through a lesson without feeling nervous about answering a small question. But over the weeks, I’ve learnt that I have been wrong. I have been ready to start college for a long time, I just didn’t understand why. Starting a new college meant that I could almost reinvent myself into an approachable person instead of one that only socialised with a small group of people (like I did in secondary school). It meant that I could pluck up the courage to put up my hand and answer that small question that I knew I was right about and was dying to share with everyone. It meant that I could be happy and not be ashamed of who I am and what I enjoy doing which is this blog, singing and making friends. So, from a few weeks ago to now, I feel like I am suddenly able to fit in and yet be myself.

Sorry that this post has just been me rambling about my problems. However, I rambled for a reason. This post has focused on my confidence issues, my stuttering and fitting in. This post was to let you know that if you are feeling the way I have been for these past few weeks right now, everything will get better. You may have been told this by many people but please trust me when I say I never thought I would have as many friends as I do now, be as confident as I am now, and be as proud of myself as I am now a few weeks ago. But I have got friends, I am confident and I am proud to be me now. And you will too. I promise.

If you feel that you ever need someone to talk to, even if you have never spoken to me in your life or you’re one of my closest friends, please do not hesitate to talk to me and I will do my very best to make you motivated and on the path to being as happy as I am.

Again, thank you for your support. As cheesy as it may sound, the fact that you’re reading this right now is making me feel much more confident and happy.

Before I go, I just want to ask you guys a quick question. You don’t have to answer underneath the blog. If you know me, you can tweet me, Instagram comment of text me but would you guys be interested if, next week, I had a go at a cover and posted it to YouTube? It’s just a thought and I’ll only do it if you’re interested.

Next week, I’ll post something much less depressing I promise you! :’)

Love you lot so much!

Big Midget Girl Hugs!

Megan xxx

P.S. Have I changed much from Year 6 to Year 12? :') 

My Favourite Songs of the Week

Hello my lovelies!

I thought that today, since I promised this blog would be about my favourite music as well as my life and beauty product reviews, here are some of my favourite songs at the moment for you to enjoy. I haven’t wrote down ALL of my favourite songs because I have sooo much college work to do (it’s so depressing).

The first song I absolutely love this week is ‘Wrecking Ball’ by Miley Cyrus.  The reason I can’t stop listening to this song is because of how catchy it is. I and my friend have been singing it non-stop at college (which I know for a fact will eventually start to annoy the both of us). Now, I know there was a lot of negative attention from the media when Miley released the music video for ‘Wrecking Ball’ however, the music video does not change my opinion on the song, but my opinion on Miley has changed slightly. This has probably been said a lot but what happened to that girl with the best of both worlds?! She has either gone mad from having her false identity and changing into a wig every five minutes or she has suddenly grown a desire to lick sledge hammers and swing on a wrecking ball naked just to gain attention. This blog is not to try and insult Miley and what she believes is ‘art’, but I do think she needs to tone down ever so slightly with her raunchy approach to heavy metal objects. Forgetting the video, despite how much I genuinely love the song, it hasn’t bagged a place in the Top 40 this week.

Secondly, I have been enjoying an old Ed Sheeran song from his first album called ‘Small Bump’. The main reason I have enjoyed it so much is because I had to perform a song for my Music Tech class and so I taught myself the guitar chords and the lyrics of it. Ever since the album came out, this song was the one that stood out to me the most due to the extremely deep lyrics. The song tells a story about what it feels like to be a dad waiting for your baby to be born and then, after 4 months of being pregnant, the baby’s mum has a miscarriage. You would expect the song to be incredibly depressing, which it is, but the way he describes the baby and how much it would mean to him is incredibly thoughtful and beautiful. 

The final song that has stuck in my head this week (other than the soundtracks to all three of the ‘High School Musical’ films) has been this week’s UK Top 40 number one, ‘Roar’ by the brilliant Katy Perry. Katy has managed to cover every aspect of life in her songs; from motivation to be you to kissing girls. This song is about coming out of your shell and showing everyone who you really are instead of hiding behind them. This may sound cheesy but it has been a motivation through college too in some ways. I can’t say that as I sung in my music class, ‘Roar’ was going through my head telling me to belt out the song with all my heart, but the words are relatable to me at this time and that is why the song has stood out to me.

So I hope you enjoyed this post, everyone! I will be sure to link all of the music videos or audio clips after this post is over.

I hope you have all have a relaxing Sunday and enjoy your week of work, school, college or relaxation.

BIG MIDGET GIRL HUGS

Megan xxx

 

Miley Cyrus’ ‘Wrecking Ball’ Music Video – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My2FRPA3Gf87

‘Wrecking Ball’ Audio for the young or easily repulsed  – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRFHAvdwXXs

Ed Sheeran’s ‘Small Bump’ Live Acoustic Version (even better than the original!) – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Npp7ZFOgpyM

Katy Perry’s ‘Roar’ Music Video – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CevxZvSJLk8