● Daisy ●

Daisy Emily Guy,

You have no idea how much you are loved. You have no idea how beautiful you are. You have no idea how special you are.

You are not even a day old yet and already, my heart has burst with pride because I am able to call you my niece.

You have the world’s most beautiful, kind, and caring mummy who has a heart made of pure gold.

You have the world’s most incredible, funny, and loving daddy who will be an incredible parent just as he has been a big brother.

You are lucky enough to have family on both sides of the world who love you to the ends of the earth.

Thank you for giving me one of the most precious gifts anyone could ever receive; the chance to be your aunt.

Daisy, I love you to the moon and back.

Lots of love,

Auntie Megan xxx

Setting Goals

Hello, my lovelies. 

I know, I know. Some of you may be thinking "oh god here she is again, claiming she's back and that she wants to post more frequently blah blah blah". Well, you thought correctly! I'll have you know that I am basically the come-back queen! However, this time I am not here to make false promises as I know just as well as you do that I am down right bloody awful at fulfilling them. I am here to set myself a goal. 

This is the point in the blog post where I tell you how much I miss this and that this means a lot to me, which honestly, every single time I say that, I truly mean it! Over the past 5 months or so, both my blog and my YouTube have come to a complete halt and that terrifies me. Both of these things were my way of expressing myself and connecting with you all. The fact that it has been pretty much non-existent for so long (other than answering comments on some of my videos from time to time) is such a weird feeling. And the longer I'm leaving it, the harder it's becoming to start back up. 

So, my goal (note: I won't promise anything unless I know I can keep it - I think I wrote a blog post along these lines funnily enough…take your own advice, Meg!) is to post on here at least once a month. There. It's in writing now so I have to do it. I would preferably like to post once a week but I know that is going to be quite a tough goal to set at the moment. I would also like to post to my YouTube once a month however videos take twice as long to create and so that may be a working process to get back into but by at least the end of 2016, I want to be up and running again. 

Just a quick update on the life of Meg: I'm settled in my job now and I'm proud of myself. I've achieved a lot and my confidence is growing daily. I've made new friends in and out of work who I'm so grateful to have met and I'm almost 19. Maybe in my next post, I'll give a better update on everything. Who knows? 

Thank you for reading this far. As I always say (I'm a bit predictable really, aren't I?) I appreciate every single one of you and the fact that you're reading this means so much more to me than you probably even realise. 

Lots of love

Megan xxx

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Hello, my lovelies!

I just wanted to write a really quick post to say that I hope you have had a very Merry Christmas and that I wish that your 2016 is incredible. 

I also wanted to quickly address my YouTube channel and my blog. I haven't been posting on here or my channel for the whole month of December and for the majority of November. This is because I am still getting used to my new job and I am trying to completely focus on that so I can learn everything quicker. This does not mean that I am stopping posting to either here or YouTube. These are both things I want to continue on with for as long as I enjoy them. However, I may be making a few changes. My blog is going to be more chatty and my YouTube will be more tutorial/music-based. This is something I am going to experiment with and, if it goes well, I may keep it that way. If it doesn't, I'll try something else. 

Thank you so much for being so supportive of my little hobbies this past year and I really hope I can continue making my videos and writing these blog posts for you to (hopefully) enjoy!

Lots of love

from 

Megan xxx

#PrayersForParis

It is difficult, no, impossible to be able to get my head around why any human being would want to physically or mentally harm or kill another for any reason but it is even worse knowing that some feel that they have the right to harm or kill those who are innocent. 

When the Paris attacks were happening yesterday evening, I was in a state of ignorant bliss and I was enjoying spending time with my friends. The irony is that prior to these attacks, these people were carrying out their days as normal like myself enjoying spending time with their own family and friends. Now, however, these people are mourning, some are injured, and some are dead. Lives have been shattered, torn apart, ruined and ended because of the absolutely disgusting, vile and inhumane acts carried out by people (can I even class them as 'people') I can only describe as scum. 

I will be honest, as soon as I found out eventually last night, I tried to block it out. The thought of it petrified me and I wanted to stay ignorant to it all, selfishly. I did become frightened and the thought of having to go to London for my work courses petrified me. This is what these spiteful and careless beings want.

With my opinions on these vile monsters who have done this being said, what has been said is all I will say regarding them. My attention now turns to you. Whoever you are. If you are a kind, good, compassionate human being, I am talking to you. 

Please never ever take those you love for granted. Right now, stop reading this and go and give your family a hug and tell them you love them and that you care. Go out for the day with your friends. Don't be scared. Be brave. We are going to prove we are strong and that this behaviour is not something we will bow down to and accept. We all now need to stick together and stand up for what is right and good and that is to truly love and be kind to one another. It is such a simple and effortless thing to do, so why do people drain every last drop of their energy to spread hatred and fear? 

Some people have said that changing their Facebook profile picture to the French flag will not help. However, I disagree. It may not physically help those who are in critical conditions or those who are now dead, but it may mentally help those grieving or even those who are in physical pain to know that people all over the world have them in their thoughts and prayers. It is a simple gesture to say we are united, we care, and we will not sit and take this.

I will end this by saying I genuinely am so sorry to those of you who are in pain due to these attacks. I am praying for you and I am thinking about you. Rest in peace those who's lives have been taken. And to the rest of the world (and I am aware more events have been happening globally) I pray for you too. 

#PrayersForParis and #PrayersForTheWorld 

I hope you are all okay and well. Goodnight, my lovelies. All my love, Megan xxx

Long Life Update!

Hello, my lovelies!

I hope you are all really well and that you had an incredible summer. I had a lovely one!

As I'm sitting here on this rather chilly October evening, listening to Disney songs snuggled under the duvet and reading Zoella's blog posts, I got a real urge to post something to my own blog. I really want to get back to writing regularly. However, I cannot think for the life of me what exactly you would all like to read and so my default idea is an update. I will do this for you today but I will try and get much more creative with this as time goes on. 

When I wrote on here last, I told you that I was almost finished with college. I can tell you that I did complete my time there (thank goodness!) and I got my results; two Ds (Music Technology & English Literature) and one C (Photography). Although some people would not be overly happy with these results, I have now began to feel proud of them. I have never worked well under pressure and so, for me, I believe those results are brilliant. 

Since I left, I have been job hunting and I can tell you that I am now waiting to start my new job! This is a HUGE step for me with my anxiety so I am completely over the moon and cannot wait to start. 

Now for the summer update! I went on my first girly holiday to Bulgaria (22nd June - 29th June 2015) with my two beautiful best friends, Sarah and Hannah. We went to Sunny Beach for one week and we had such a relaxing time. I put a few snippets of my trip in a little video on my YouTube channel and so, if you would like to see, I will pop the link to that particular video at the end of this post. Here are a few little pictures for you all! 

My besties: Sarah [left], Hannah [right]

Cocktails: Sex on the Beach, Blue Lagoon, Green Dragon and Tequila Sunrise

The week I got back from Bulgaria, myself and my family went on a day trip to Bruges, Belgium (4th July 2015). We walked around to look at the beautiful surroundings, went on a canal boat and a horse carriage ride, and (most importantly) tried Belgian chocolate and ice cream (it was really nice). Even though Belgium is beautiful, after sleeping in a different bed to my own for a week, I was glad to get home that evening. Here a few little snaps I got from this trip. 

Canal boat ride in Bruges

The final thing I will talk about in this post (because this is ridiculously long now) is when I went to my first ever festival (Reading Festival) for the day with my lovely best friends, Hannah and Sarah. Admittedly, Reading Festival does not have the music I usually gravitate towards, but I decided to give it a try. I am so glad I did because I absolutely loved it. The atmosphere, some of the bands that performed, the different music tents, and the fact that a lot of my friends were there to meet up with. Even though I'm not sure if I could camp at a festival, next time may be a good time to give it a try. Here are some pictures from our day at Reading Festival, Saturday 29th August 2015. 

So I think I'm going to stop here. I did SO much more this summer but those were the main things (and also were the only things I ended up getting some decent pictures for). Also this post is going on for too long and, lets be honest, you mainly clicked on this for the pictures ;) 

Anyway I am off now. I really hope you liked this post. I am going to try and work out a day (once I'm working) when I can devote my evening to writing/posting a blog post since I miss doing this. 

Thank you so much for reading! I will speak to you soon. 

Lots of love

Megan xxx

P.S Here are a few links for you all to go and check out…

• 'First Girl's Holiday - Top Ten Tips!' YouTube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiW9-CKUD_U
• My YouTube channel (currently at 94 subscribers!): https://www.youtube.com/user/meganroseguy
• My Twitter: @meganroseguy1
• My Instagram: meganroseguy

xxx

My Little Update.

Hello, my lovelies 

I have decided that this blog will be more in the form of diary entries at this little period in my life. This doesn't mean I won't go back to reviewing face powders and pretending I know about fashion (not mocking btw - if anything I'm mocking myself) but for now this is what is keeping me sane.

I'm terrified

Okay bye!

No but seriously. I truly am. I don't know what to make of all this. I go to a college where not everybody knows each other so leaving college isn't really a big loss to me. I've made some incredible friends, however, who oh my goodness I would absolutely love to keep as long as they want to keep me. I have met my boyfriend who makes me so happy and cares about me and I also hope he can still put up with me in his life. I am grateful to the college for putting these people in classes with me.  

I'm also grateful that the college provided me with anxiety help which included counselling. I understand that this doesn't benefit everyone and it 100% does not cure everyone and that includes me. But I appreciate this counsellor so much. She has stuck by me for a whole year now and was kind and lovely to me before my anxiety became a huge deal. She is a lovely person and the thought of next Tuesday being my final session with her well and truly frightens me. It not only means less support, but it also means that somebody who has really made an impact on me (she probably doesn't even know it) is someone who I will not be allowed contact with anymore. And for that I'm very sad.

I'm also anxiously excited to explore the world. My first journey without family - a girls holiday to Bulgaria. I'm dreading the plane journeys but I am excited nevertheless. It'll be a fun and unforgettable experience with two of the best friends I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. 

Then comes a job. I don't feel as if uni is the right way for me and so a job is where I'm off to. I'm petrified. As with everything else I'm my life, I'm petrified. I shouldn't be and I don't want to be, but I am. And it's daunting.

That's all from me tonight. Exam tomorrow morning...should be revising but low and behold it's 12 in the morning now so probably not a great idea.

I'll speak to you soon, lovelies.

Goodnight from the UK!

from

Megan xxx 

Down Days

Hello, my lovelies

I know I haven't been on here for a while and I've honestly had some lovely blog posts planned, I have just never gotten round to finishing them because of all the stuff that, quite frankly, makes me feel down. This is a very random spur of the moment post I wanted to share with you all that I've literally only just had to urge to write. I don't know where I'm going with it, but all I know is that I just need to let my emotions run wild.

I have been finding things difficult recently. Not many people are aware but I just am. And it's nobody's fault. I have been snapping at people and being rude unintentionally (not that that makes everything okay but I thought it would be only fair on me to mention), I have felt the need to bitch, I have been tackling anxiety and mainly failing at tackling it and it all seems too much for me.

There has been a time this month where I have had a thought that I am possibly suffering depression. I may sound completely ignorant now but from what I have heard from friends who have depression themselves, some of the ways I have been acting and feeling haven't been to far away from their depression experiences. However, I am not going to go and diagnose myself again like I did with anxiety at first (although I wasn't wrong, was I?) (just to let you know, I have been diagnosed by professionals with anxiety disorder since my last blog post. I forgot to mention!) and I am not just assuming thats what it is. I just like to call the times I feel this way a 'downer' or 'downer days' if the feelings last for a long time. I believe today is one of them.

I don't want anybody reading to feel sympathy or even feel upset. (I would never want to upset you guys. It's just how I'm feeling) I just needed to vent and explain myself.

I'm coming to a point in life where I genuinely am scared. I don't know what's in store - I usually like to know exactly what's coming. I don't know what is happening specifically once I leave college. I don't know how my first girls holiday to Bulgaria will go (been so long I know! I'm going to Bulgaria with my two best friends. Exciting! but scary too) I don't know how the future is looking and it genuinely concerns, frustrates, and worries me which makes the anxiety spiral at times.

I don't know. Have you guys ever felt this way?

Thanks for reading.

I genuinely appreciate it all.

Lots of love
Megan xxx

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year

Hello, my lovelies!

I just wanted to write a very quick post just to let you know that I hope you have an absolutely amazing Christmas and an equally amazing New Year! 

Thank you for all the support you have given me on this blog for over a year and also for all the support when starting my YouTube Channel in 2014. It really has made my whole year. 

I hope you enjoyed all the videos and blog posts, especially the ones in the last couple of months!

I love you all lots. 

Lots of love

from 

Megan xxx

P.S Strive to make 2015 one of the best years of your life. I know I will.

Skin Care Routine!

Hello, my lovelies!

Hope you're all well. 

Today I wanted to talk to you about a new skin care routine I have begun to try out. I know this isn't the most interesting topic for some but it may help some of you out which is always good. 

As I say at the beginning of all of these 'product' blog posts/ videos, I have not been sponsored by any of the brands mentioned today. I am just talking about them and my opinions on them.  

So for quite some time, I have been using the Clinique skin care range on my face and I have always felt that it has worked very well up until about 2 months ago when my skin began to get very dry and flakey. I have always thought that my skin was listed under the 'combination' category (combination of dry and oily skin) and so because of this, I was using what was recommended to me by one of the lovely ladies at Clinique. Just to let you know, although these products are expensive and they are now not working so well for me, I do not regret buying them as they have been treating me well for around 2-3 years now and so I would recommend you look into them or get a little skin appointment booked with one of the staff at the Clinique counters in Boots nearest to you so that they can tell you what your skin type is. 

Now you may be thinking that there is no reason for you to check your skin type with Clinique if my skin has been playing up due to the products (although it is not just the products - it is me not eating or drinking healthy too!) but I believe that my skin type has changed within a 3 year time period and so I don't see why yours couldn't change to. 

I just wanted to give you some background knowledge before going into the new routine. 

I watched Emma Blackery's video on how to get rid of blackheads and spots (I will link that video at the end of the blog post if you're interested) and she mentioned Tea Tree products which I spotted whilst out with my mum and sister shopping in The Body Shop. 

Basically, whilst I was in there, I was told that Tea Tree products wouldn't be right for me and that I would be better off with 'Seaweed' products which are very gentle to skin as I NOW have 'dry' and 'sensitive' skin. I totally agree now since, as I mentioned before, my skin has been very flakey and I suppose tight. 

So I have got the 'Seaweed Deep Cleansing Facial Wash' which I have to use alongside a face scrub brush which is used to exfoliate (which comes separately), the 'Seaweed Mattifying Day Cream' which works as a moisturiser, and I also got (separately from the 'Seaweed' range) the 'Aloe Calming Toner' which says on the bottle that it is for sensitive skin and that it is a 'comforting, conditioning toning liquid proven to purify without irritating'. 

Here are some images of the products in case you're interested or you are looking for some products to try out along with me if you have dry and sensitive skin too…

'Seaweed Deep Cleansing Facial Wash' & Scrub Brush

'Seaweed Mattifying Day Cream'

'Aloe Calming Toner'

So yeah I will be trying out those products and hopefully, by the end of this month, I will notice a change in my skin (it sounds silly but I can already feel and see a VERY slight positive change…and thats after using it for a day!) 

Thank you for reading

Speak to you soon

I love you all loads

Megan xxx

P.S Here is the link to Emma Blackery's video…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhVWXQUQMdo

P.P.S ALERT!!! Here is another Christmassy clue for you all! Hmmm…what could this video be?!?!

December Uploads Update

Hello, my lovelies!

Now this is going to be a very short blog post (hopefully - I ramble on a bit, I know). I won't be adding a clue on the end of this one but I have been working on another blog post so the next post will have another Christmassy clue.

However I do have some news on the Christmas upload schedule and I'd love to tell you the news is good (although it could be for some, it could be bad for others, and some of you may not even care haha!)

I have decided that, for this year, I should scrap the idea of the project 'Dear December'. I have written and recorded the audio for a lot of the letters and I have been asking a lot of people to contribute by writing letters on certain days but I have decided that on top of my English, Music and Photography coursework deadlines and also alongside the many other Christmassy videos I will be uploading, it may all just become a bit too much. Both for myself and for you guys who may feel a little overwhelmed by how many videos I'm posting.

This is not to say that I will never do the project - I am taking a gap year next year and so I think it may be a little easier then, but until then, I don't think I have the time or patience to film, edit, and upload 30 odd videos all in one busy month. I really hope you understand.

Thank you for reading
I love you all so much
Speak to you soon
Megan xxx

Prank Calling & Spreading Rumours

Hello, my lovelies!

This post is gonna be a little more serious than some others I've posted but stick around till the end as it is important to me.

Now I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I have never in my life prank called somebody. The thing is, I have actually been one of the people that finds prank calling absolutely hysterical which makes me pretty damn awful at it anyway! If I were to ever prank call somebody, the prank would be purely un-hurtful and something that would hopefully make the person on the other end of the line laugh with me.

Recently, somebody who I am very close to received a prank call from a 'No Caller ID' number (which I also have done so PLEASE do not think I am being hypocritical in any manner here) where some false information was given to them about a person they are close to. The information was of a sexual nature and therefore made the person incredibly uncomfortable and angered hearing it. When the information about this person was told to them, they were taken aback, they were hurt and they were lost for words.

You may be thinking 'Megan, why on earth is this bothering you so much?!' Well let me tell you. I know first hand what it feels like to have rumours thrown around about you which are untrue. It hurts and can damage you. Imagine if the prank caller called someone else instead of my close friend who knew the information was rubbish. This person could have begun to spread rumours upon rumours upon rumours and everything would have spiralled out of control and, by the time it reached the person spoken about, it could have been distorted and lots of people would know of the rumour.

I know I'm taking this very seriously and, I think, rightly so. Pranking is funny to a certain extent. But using your 'power' to prank (I use this word as I can't think of any other word for it) to potentially hurt someone, even if in the moment you find it hilarious, is wrong.

Think before you act. Not JUST when pranking someone. In ALL scenarios. 

Thank you for reading. 

Speak to you soon

I love you all so much

Megan xxx

P.S Slightly less serious topic. 'Av a look at this Christmassy Clue…

Making Plans...

Hello, my lovelies!

 I do love it when I come back on here. I know that some of you guys prefer when I make videos and some of you prefer it when I write and so I like to occasionally do both whenever I fancy. I hope that's okay with you all!

 I have been making some cool plans for next month for my YouTube channel and so I had an idea. This month will be blog month. Whenever I can fit a blog post in, I will do it. I will write as much as I can this month (without overdoing it - I also have a lot of coursework to be handed into college around this time too but I'll balance everything, don't worry!) Each time I blog, I will share a little spoiler or a hint of a video/s that will go up in December. I am so excited and I really hope this excites you all too!

 Today, I thought I would just give away a little project I will be doing throughout December. This may not be to everyone's tastes but I liked the idea of getting creative with my writing skills. I was inspired by Carrie Hope Fletcher to attempt this project. Her version of this project was called 'Letters to Autumn' where she wrote a letter addressed to Autumn every day talking about lots of different things (whether it be about Autumn itself or just how she was feeling), filmed parts of each of her days and then uploaded a video for each letter every day. If that doesn't make sense, here is the link to those...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAy1UkOt9nY&list=PLfuWu_9IeKiQJQ-LrziNAloIyyhYevFhR

 So my project is called 'Dear December' where I write to December every single day from the 1st of December to the 31st. I don't know how long I will last (I hope till the end!) but I have enlisted the help of friends and family members to 'collab' with me for these videos. Some of the letters are happy, some are sad and emotional, some are rants and some are just talking about how much I love December. So, yeah, I really hope you enjoy them if you like that sort of thing.

 Just to make something clear before I go, this will not be the ONLY thing that will be uploaded to my channel throughout the month of December so if 'Dear December' isn't your cup of tea, I hope those videos will be to your liking…not telling you what they are though yet ;)

Thank you for reading this!

Will speak to you soon

I love you all so much

Megan xxx

P.S. If you haven't seen my latest YouTube video where I sing to my camera with some daring lipstick on, here it is :) Hope you like it! xxx https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhfs11vOoOY&list=UUDi0dTVo2unptpxBHazxA_w

'SHINE NIGHT WALK' FOR CANCER RESEARCH UK

Hello, my lovelies!

It's been a while, I know! I hope you're all well.

Before I get onto the main topic of this blog post, I would just like to give you a little update (in case you have been wondering where I've been since making my promise to write more blog posts!;))

1. I've FINALLY learnt how to play the ukulele!…Well, one song but STILL! Hopefully by the end of next year, I'll be able to say "I've FINALLY learnt how to play a SECOND song on the ukulele!"

2. I got my A Level results back this week and I am now able to drop my Fine Art A Level. Although I love painting and drawing and sculpting and being artsy, I feel like I only enjoy doing those things when I am 'arting' what I'm interested in.

3. I am just about to begin packing for a trip to Cyprus for my summer holiday! If you watch my YouTube Channel (if you haven't seen my videos, click HERE) you will probably already know this but I am planning on making a belated Summer/Holiday Lookbook which will hopefully still help if you either live somewhere nice and hot or you are lucky enough to be going on a holiday during the UK's Autumn/Winter season so stay tuned for that!

Okay so now for something I'm kind of nervous about. 

You guys know I am the least sporty/active person you'll ever meet and if you are a close friend of mine, you know the place to find me will be indoors in my room browsing the internet, or in a restaurant, or sleeping! So...

On the 27th August 2014, Arez Hassan, Hannah Duhan and I will be doing the 'Shine Night Walk' full marathon for Cancer Research UK which will raise money for all forms of cancer. Click HERE to learn more about the Shine Night Walk!

The full marathon is 26 miles and I am less than prepared but I am taking this very seriously. If you would like to sponsor me by donating money to the cause, I have made a JustGiving page for you to go ahead and help me reach my current goal of £100 going towards Cancer Research UK. I will leave this link at the end of the blog post. 

I am doing this to show my support for a very close friend of mine who is fighting cancer. 

I hope to vlog this experience and upload it to my YouTube Channel for you all not only as proof, but to make a funny video where I show you just how fit and active I really am! :')

If you are under 18, please ask for permission to donate from your parent/guardian. If you cannot donate for whatever reason, that's okay! However, it would be absolutely amazing if you could share this blog post for me so that we can show our continued support for this amazing charity. 

Thank you for sticking around and for reading this blog post. Also, if you donate, thank you so much for your support and for being an amazing person by donating money to a great cause or sharing this post. It will mean a lot to those who bravely fight cancer every day. 

Sleep can wait. Beating cancer can't. 

Here is the link to my JustGiving page - https://www.justgiving.com/MeganGuy

I will speak to you all soon, I really do promise!

Lots of love

Megan xxx

Anxiety and Panic Attacks Q&A Continued

Hello, my lovelies!

So a little while ago, I wanted to make a video with the topic of 'Anxiety and Panic Attacks' and the more I thought about how to film it, the more I realised how hard it would be to make just one video. In fact, I realised that even in these two videos, I wouldn't get everything I wanted to say in, even with the amazing help I got from Arez in the Q&A video. So I promised you guys a blog post with new answers and answers that were not mentioned in the video (due to the video being filmed a day earlier than I told you guys it would be filmed).

Before I begin, I just wanted to say that Arez and I (and maybe others if they ever would like to help with a video like this) are more than happy to make more of these videos IF YOU FOUND BOTH OF THE VIDEOS USEFUL IN ANY WAY. I don't want to overload you with information because it could make you feel a little unsettled, however I just want to help as many people as I can that are going through or know somebody who is going through this situation.

There was a certain question that we didn't use the answers for in the video since the answer to it seemed to be coming through all of the other answers we were giving but since there were some of you who were willing to answer this question, here are the answers you gave in :)

Question 5
What would you recommend to a person who believed they may be suffering from panic attacks or anxiety but are not sure?
- "Find somebody who can understand your point of view or a group of people who are willing to listen to you (preferably your best friends but you can also attend support groups such as CAHMS). If you find this difficult, go to a teacher, your parents, or the doctors (with somebody or without somebody, although it would be probably best to take somebody with you for support) to talk it through."
- "Do NOT bottle up your feelings. This could potentially make things much worse."
- "If your panic attacks are extremely frequent, you could potentially be provided with medication and an opportunity to attend and gain the services from a place like CAHMS."
- "I saw a psychologist and a councillor over varying periods of time, and even though it can be really uncomfortable and/or upsetting, it is so much better to have it out in the open."
- "I would tell them that they are not being weak, or oversensitive, or just to 'cheer up' - that everybody needs help now and then"
- "I would say that if you think you're suffering from anxiety, you probably are. Do NOT second guess yourself and don't be afraid to tell friends, family, school, doctors, etc. what's going on so that they can confirm things for you and give support.

So now I'm going to add the other questions and the other answers that were given to me for those:

Question 1
When you experience anxiety or are having a panic attack, what are the feelings you get and how do you physically react usually?
- "Having a panic attack feels as if you're having a heart attack or like you are going to die. I want to cry, scream, run away from it - but trying to get away from it only prolongs it instead of facing it head on which in the long run is the better way to handle them. My breathing is very fast; my heart is racing and pounding, there is an overwhelming feeling of terror and dread. The anxiety itself was just a constant feeling of slight panic, which led onto me not eating much of anything a lot of the time and also not sleeping properly. I found it difficult to function normally from day to day for about 8 months.
- "I fidget quite a lot, shake my right leg and I get really quiet. When I'm having a panic attack, I suddenly feel like my throat is closing (even though I know it isn't). I get either really hot or really cold, shaky and just generally feel out of it, as if I'm really drunk. I'll either cry uncontrollably or not cry at all until afterwards. The worst thing though, and this is only if it's a really bad one, is that my hands can cramp up and I can't move them until I'm totally calm again."

Question 2
Do you remember your first panic attack? If you do (and are 100% comfortable talking about it) what triggered it OR how did you react? (For example what did you think of yourself and how your body was coping?)
- "The first panic attack was not the start of when I actually had panic disorder. My first panic attack was at 13 years old. I was scuba diving and over 20m underwater when I got separated from my instructor. I was really scared and just felt I had to get out of there. I shot up to the surface even though that's really dangerous  from so far under the water. At that point though, it felt like something to genuinely panic about and I just assumed it was a natural reaction to getting lost. The first time I had one and they started to become a real problem was when I had one on stage during a performance. I had to hide it until I got offstage at the end of the first half, then cried so much I couldn't go back on."
- "I don't remember my first panic attack because I didn't realise I was having panic attacks until a year later."

Question 3
What methods have you used and which ones helped most?
- "I took anti-depressants for about 8 months which did help although I really didn't enjoy being on them as they took so long to get used to and funnily enough, one of the side effects is anxiety! I went to a psychologist for CBT. She gave me a lot of breathing exercises which I found very helpful. It was also good to gain knowledge on what panic attacks were. Every time we would get into it, she would ask me what there was to be logically afraid of and it really challenged me, I think in a good way."
- "I'm quite mushy and needy! I like having a friend there telling me it's okay and reassuring me that I'm not wasting their time and hugging me, and I try to think about something funny that's happened recently and there are some times where I've actually managed to make myself laugh out of the attack."

Question 4
Have you found that the methods that have helped you most put you in a better position and gave you a better understanding of yourself and your anxiety?
- "By demystifying panic attacks and giving me ways of coping with them and with anxiety, I have felt a lot better. Sometimes even now I will still get anxious but I know that I don't necessarily have to address it and panic about it - just acknowledge it and wait for it to pass. It does't always need to be a big deal or my main focus at that point in time."
- "I like to write a lot about my experiences and because I'm an English geek, I like finding quotes from books I read that I can analyse in a way that makes me relate to it."

Question 6
Do you think that it is right to class 'panic attacks and anxiety' as 'mental illnesses'?
- Yes, I don't see a problem classing them as that. It is not calling them that which is the problem. It is the stigma that people associate with it which is the problem. It is an illness, just not always a visible one, and you need some help to get better."
- "I'm in two minds about this: I feel like it is a mental illness because although it exhibits itself physically, it is mentally triggered. However, I feel like panic attacks and anxiety, along with things like depression and OCD should not be in the same category as things like schizophrenia and psychosis yet they're all under the branch of 'mental illnesses' and I think that is unfair."

Since there are more answers to come, and I will always leave these questions here to answer if anyone who ever reads this blog wants to answer, I will be updating this blog post whenever it needs updating so that it helps some of you in some way.

I would also like to say that if you would like to see anymore videos like this or you would like to read another blog post like this, let me know below in the comments or email me at meganroseguyblog@hotmail.com

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH TO THE PEOPLE WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THE MAKING OF THE VIDEOS AND THIS BLOG POST! You honestly have absolutely no idea how much this means to me, and hopefully how much it will mean to a person watching or reading the videos or this post.

Again, I love you all very much.

Speak soon

Lots of love
Megan xxx

P.S Here are the links back to the videos I made:
'Panic Attacks & Anxiety - My Story': http://youtu.be/BNkP5xAgcXg
'Panic Attacks & Anxiety Q&A': https://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_581890003&feature=iv&src_vid=BNkP5xAgcXg&v=BNkP5xAgcXg

I'm Back!

Hello, my lovelies!

I can't believe how long it has been since I have posted anything to this blog. It's gotten so bad that I almost forgot how to start writing this post!
Exams have been CRAZY tough these past few months; the lead up and the actual exams themselves. So I hope that explains why I have focussed my time on my YouTube channel rather than my blog.

Just to clear up a few things before I go on to the main topic of today's post:
1. I have NO intention of stopping blogging just because I now have a YouTube channel to think about as well. I LOVE writing as a surprising number of you have personally and cyber-ly told me that you have been able to connect with both my blog AND my YouTube in positive ways. That feeling is unexplainable and I don't want to loose it for either my blog or my channel.
2. I am going to try and upload to this more often. It can be quite the challenge on top of all of my college work, but if I'm honest, it is lovely to have this alongside my life outside the internet because it is an amazing hobby and is a great escape from the challenges of life.
3. I don't like to see either my blog or my channel as a chore to upload to. I just found it difficult to juggle both alongside exams and so I focussed on my YouTube channel as I was extremely eager to get it up and running!

So yeah…with those three quick points out of the way, let me tell you about a new blog that has just come about. :)

Okay so one of my best friends, Claudio, has just posted his first ever blog post! I know you guys probably think I'm going to be very biased with this since he is one of my best friends but honestly, his blog is frickin' brilliant!

His blog is completely dedicated to music. It is about both new and old music from a wide variety of genres. He discusses all of the musical techniques used throughout the songs and how they have or have not benefitted the track as a whole. He also rates the track's vocals, production, lyrical content, and artwork (and rapping if it occurs in the song) out of ten and then gives an overall rating using stars.

His blog is called SoundClaud (inspired by 'Sound Cloud' however he has cleverly changed it to fit his own name, Claudio) and I honestly think it is worth taking five minutes of your time to check out :)

CLICK HERE TO GO TO HIS AWESOME FIRST BLOG POST!

Okay so that's all I have for you guys today! I hope you liked this post and are happy that I am going to try my best to get back to blogging :)

Love you all so much. Thanks for sticking with me!

Lots of love
Megan xxx

Easter Playlists!

Hello my lovelies!

So although our Easter holiday is sadly ending (sorry to remind you. I want to cry just as much as you, believe me.) I thought I would give you a little Easter Sunday 'gift' if you will. I'm actually getting nervous as to whether you'll like it; it's like getting a family member or best friend a Christmas or birthday present and then doubting yourself and telling them "If you hate it, you can change it" just when they've torn the tiniest piece of wrapping paper from it :').

Throughout Easter, I have been putting together two music playlists on my YouTube channel. One is called "Easter 2014 'Feel Good' Playlist" and the other is called "Easter 2014 'Chill Out' Playlist". Each of these playlists contain all of the different songs I have been loving this Easter including some very recent chart songs, some old club classics, some old and new ballads, and some bands/groups I recommend you check out that you may or may not have heard of beforehand.

I would like to quickly tell you about a group I put into BOTH playlists and that band is Pentatonix. I have fallen in love with this a cappella group over the Easter and you REAAAALLY need to listen to them. Seriously they are flipping amazing. I'll leave a link to their channel after this post.

I am also uploading another YouTube video today and this video is the first in (what I hope to be …when I can think of another topic for it) a series called 'Ginger Rants' where I am ranting as a wannabe ginger. :') So yeah, I hope you find that cool and stuff.

I love you guys so much and thank you once again for all of the amazing feedback and stuff you have been giving me. I cannot explain how cool it feels.

Alright I'll check in with you all soon.

Megan xxx

P.S It is probably best if you listen to these playlists on a laptop as SOME (not ALL) of the videos for the songs are not available on mobile devices. I will fix this issue soon but, for now, these are what will stay on the playlists.

Playlist 1: "Easter 2014 'Chill Out' Playlist"
Playlist 2: "Easter 2013 'Feel Good' Playlist"

P.P.S Here is PENTATONIX's channel.

P.P.P.S Here is my THIRD video (I'll stop doing the counting thing soon too I promise!)

Update & Second Video!

Hello, my lovelies!

So since it is the Easter holidays (FINALLY!) I thought I would write a quick post letting you know about a small change I've made.

I have wiped my YouTube account clean (apart from the upload I added on my birthday). I have removed my cover of Almost Is Never Enough for the one and only reason that I didn't feel proud of the effort I made. I will be starting YouTube from scratch starting with the video I uploaded on Sunday. I have managed to film 5 more videos since my spontaneous last upload so I'll be releasing them slowly for the next few weeks however there will be a link to a new one at the end of this post.

It will not always be a YouTube video by the way. There will be blog posts too but just whilst I'm launching my channel, it would be awesome if any of my lovely readers could bare with me. I WILL be writing properly again!

I just wanted to quickly let you know before you go straight to the video that I didn't make the video to 'show off' everything I got, it was just to make you aware of the products so that you can get them for yourself if you like the sound or look of them.

Thank you so much for the lovely comments you have made on my last video whether you wrote in the comment section or told me in person. Love you all so much. Also, thank you so my subscribers! I didn't expect to get any at all for my first video so that was also a lovely birthday treat :)

Okay so here you go, my second video, "'Burfdai' Gifts and Haul"!

Hope you enjoy
Love you all so much

Lots of love
Megan xxx

It's ma burfdai & CHANNEL LAUNCH!!

Hello, my lovelies!

IT'S MY BURFDAIIIIIIIIIII! I can now take my first ever driving lesson …everyone please stay away from the roads for the next year or so because I will most probably be a dangerous driver :')

So I thought, on my birthday, I would launch my first ever YouTube video and embarrass myself as a little birthday present to myself!

This won't be a long written post today as I thought I would just let you get to watching my video but there are just a few things I wanted to say before you have a look…
I want to thank my cousin, Lucie, for agreeing to let me share the…interesting footage with you guys. I would also like to say that if you happen to like the video, it would be great (and also humiliating on mine and Lucie's part) if you could Share, Like, and Comment on the video and also if you would like to be updated when I upload, Subscribe to my channel :)

So here you go…my first YouTube video. Hope you enjoy and do not love me any less because of my embarrassing behaviour.

Love you lots guys!
Megan xxx

Westfield Haul!

Hello, my lovelies!

Hope you're all well! Today I wanted to tell you about the products I purchased on my most recent shopping trip to Westfield so I'll get straight into it!

Lush 

I have been in Lush a few times before and I have only just begun to purchase things from there (I have no idea why I hadn't been practically living in there before). This time, I got four things which smell bloody AMAZING. I hope you enjoy me attempting to describe their scents :') 

1. 'Honey Bee'

I have bought this one before and so I already know that this bath bomb smells lovely. It's quite sweet but not sickly sweet (in my opinion) and smells of honey (my capability of description is on point today as you can tell). All you do is run a bath and then put the whole thing into the bath. I do have to say, however, that this does not look very attractive when fizzing up in the bath due to the yellow colour but I promise it's worth it. These bath bombs cost £3.25 each.

2. 'The Immaculate Eggception' 

Since this is an Easter-time special, I thought I would give this bath bomb a go. Once again, this is quite a sweet smell but I quite like it. Apparently, there is something inside the bath bomb so I was very intrigued to find out what the fuss is all about. This one was the most expensive product I purchased as they are sold at £6.95 each. 

3. 'Green Bubbleroon'

This is another amazing product I have already tried out. This is basically a bubble maker. You basically have to put the product under the tap and rub it into the bath. It smells more fresh than sweet which makes having a bath using it very relaxing. This product is sold at £3.50 each (but I think I may have only had to pay a cheeky £3.50 for two pieces). Buy this! It's soooooo good. 

4. 'Dorothy'

I went for something different with my second bubble/soap product and this smelt a little different to the others. It smells quite fresh too with a little sweetness. It basically smells of rainbows…hence the rainbow on the top. This costs £3.25 per piece. 

Clothes

When looking around all of the clothing shops, the colours that seemed to be frequently appearing were coral and lime green - colours you would usually associate with spring. This made me feel like I had to have these colours and so I bought a few tops from different shops:

1. Topshop

Front of T-Shirt

Back of T-Shirt

This shopping trip was all about the tops even though the main thing I am in desperate need of is jeans. I have, in the past, got a few nice bits and bobs from Topshop but this time, I bought the most flattering and pretty top I have had in a long time! It is a floral-patterned t-shirt with dark blue, hot pink and lime green colours all over it. This item is £34. 

2. Dorothy Perkins

Front of Vest Top

Back of Vest Top

For this item, I was thinking about the transition between spring and summer as vest tops are perfect for this time. I LOVE the lime green coloured stripes and the zip at the back of this vest top as these give it a bit of an interesting edge. This item was £20. 

Front of T-Shirt

Back of T-Shirt

This is the final item I bought and it is another floral-print t-shirt. As you can see, both coral and lime green colours are all over this and so I loved it instantly. When I tried it on, I felt really comfy and I am one of those types of people who loves to be comfortable. This t-shirt was £18. 

So those were all of the items I bought. I am so excited to try out the Lush products and I am planning to get a lot of wear out of all of these new tops. 

Hope you enjoyed my awkward modelling attempt! Vogue better be in touch soon :') Love you all lots!

Megan xxx

P.S Here are the links to all of the products I have mentioned in this post: 

Lush Links (Home Page of Wesbite - https://www.lush.co.uk)

'Honey Bee' - https://www.lush.co.uk/product/202/Honey-Bee-Bath-Bomb

'The Immaculate Eggception' - https://www.lush.co.uk/product/5837/The-Immaculate-Eggception---Pink

'Green Bubbleroon' - https://www.lush.co.uk/product/5659/Green-Bubbleroon
'Dorothy' - https://www.lush.co.uk/product/132/Dorothy-Bubble-Bar
Topshop (Home Page of Website - http://www.topshop.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/TopCategoriesDisplay?storeId=12556&catalogId=33057)
T-Shirt - http://www.topshop.com/en/tsuk/product/clothing-427/tops-443/t-shirts-2290019/blue-orchid-tee-2582374?refinements=category~%5b256506%7c208524%5d&bi=1&ps=200
Dorothy Perkins (Home Page of Website - http://www.dorothyperkins.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/TopCategoriesDisplay?storeId=12552&catalogId=33053&cmpid=DPSS10_L_2650&_$ja=cgid:1693933948%7Ctsid:19766%7Ccid:52283188%7Clid:1279005594%7Cnw:g%7Ccrid:35745692428%7Crnd:621850737922880555%7Cdvc:c%7Cadp:1t1&gclid=COGrouafp70CFeKWtAodensA1w&geoip=home)
Striped Vest Top - http://www.dorothyperkins.com/en/dpuk/product/clothing-203535/tops-t-shirts-1974337/limewhite-stripe-waffle-shell-2779306?refinements=Colour%7b1%7d~%5bgreen%5d&bi=1&ps=20
T-Shirt - http://www.dorothyperkins.com/en/dpuk/product/clothing-203535/tops-t-shirts-1974337/petite-1929563/petite-floral-quilted-tee-2767125?refinements=category~%5b1163172%7c208650%5d&bi=1&ps=200

'Cause I have some bad days

Hello, my lovelies!

Gawd I can't believe I haven't spoken to you all for over a month! I really miss writing on here so I want to get back into the monthly routine so I can give myself a break from college every once and a while.

Today, I wanted to go back to one of my previous posts and just tell you a little bit about why, at that point, I may have been wrong in some ways (NOT COMPLETELY). In THIS blog post, I said this;

"I know some people may read this blog and think “this girl is so strange!” Yes. Yes I am strange. But I am incredibly proud to say that I no longer care". 

For the past few weeks, being at college and with friends and at parties etc. has made me realise that of course I care! I am an incredibly paranoid person and so when somebody even does as much as mention my name, I come to the conclusion that this person dislikes me or is bitching about me or wants me to remove myself from the face of the earth. I suppose that is quite a dramatic approach to what I'm trying to explain (I'm not that bad, I promise!) but sometimes that is a dramatised version of how I feel. 

I wonder sometimes, "what if I were a sporty person?" or "what if I had really curly hair instead of boring dead straight hair?" or sometimes even "what if I were a completely different person? Would people like me more?" However, I then remember some of the things I have been taught growing up such as "your real friends will be the ones who love you for who you are no matter how crazy or shy or funny or even GINGER you are" and "you shouldn't live your life trying to please people who, at the end of the day, won't be there forever. Be yourself, and you'll please the people who will stick around." Those things make me feel like I don't have to change, but sometimes I do go on my 'wild' fitness programmes (like at the moment, I have put a fitness playlist together for myself on YouTube and I'm going swimming every Saturday morning haha!) or my 'be a better human being' goals just because I feel like change can be good sometimes.

 I don't know one person, not even one, who doesn't care about what people think of them (even if they pretend they don't or cancel the bad thoughts out) but I know that unfortunately, some people can't deal with their paranoia and cannot cope with being themselves. So on that note, I thought I would finish by saying if one of those people happen to be you, remember that you don't have to change for anybody whether they are your family, friends, enemy, boyfriend, girlfriend, the popular people in your college/school, or even your pet. If they care about you, they wouldn't want you to change for the world. 

Thank you for reading, lovies! 

Megan xxx

P.S Thought I would end on a high note and show you this image of a baby kangaroo I saw on Twitter. :) xxx